Hillary’s Consolation (prize)

Cheer up girl! It could’ve been worse… you might’ve won.

Could it really be just two interminable years since this humble blog [declared] with such ballsy confidence that Hillary Rodham Clinton didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of ever being president? My… how times have (not) changed. Well, now that the rest of the world knows it, the only remaining question is: what does she get as a consolation prize? The slackjawed political punditocracy — who have managed to be wrong about almost every aspect of this election — are boosting the Hillary as Veep meme. Looks like they will continue their perfect losing streak at prediction. Obama is unlikely to select her as his running mate for the simple reason that he seems to want to win and he well knows that, outside of the Democratic Party (and thesedays even inside it…), she is radioactive. The Republicans are playing all innocent, scuffing the floor with their Buster Browns and whistling nonchalantly during this discussion, hoping not to give away their absolute need for Obama to select her — it’s the only thing that would get disgruntled Republican donors to open the money spigot for McCain. No, she won’t be vice-president. But what will she be?

She can’t take a cabinet position because nobody successfully runs for president from there, and one can safely assume that — unlike Al Gore — she has not retired her ambitions to be president. Personally, I would love to see her nominated for the Supreme Court. Can you imagine? Her approval by a Democratic Senate would be guaranteed, she would effectively short-circuit the conservative agenda of a center-right court for years to come and there would be nothing that rabid anti-liberal anti-Clinton ideologues could do about it. She’d be there for life! It would be almost too rich.

Most likely, though, she’ll tap Obama’s mad fundraising skillz to pay help off her debts in exchange for her enthusiastic support and then she’ll return to the Senate and bide her time. I’m guessing she’s hoping Obama turns out to be another Jimmy Carter — a receptacle of people’s hope and desire for a cleansing change after years of corruption, but untried and ineffectual once in office. If McCain wins he’ll be 120 years old at the end of his first term and unlikely to run for re-election. In either case, she has four years to prepare for the next (futile) run. Or, as a fellow I work with suggested, maybe she’ll take a page from Ted Kennedy’s book and just stay in the Senate for the rest of her days and be satisfied to do good work for the people.

Yeh, right.