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When I was a wee thing — a mere micronaut — I got the idea into my head to be a writer. Not just any kind of writer but a successful writer. And the idea I came up with for my first published opus would be an article about the meaning of success itself! I would write to famous successful people and ask them to tell me their definition of success. Seemed sure fire — the article would practically write itself and I would learn some important tips to use in my own climb toward the heights. Reader’s Digest here I come! Pulitzer? Why yes, thank you.
So I sat down and wrote to about 200 people and asked them what success meant to them. The list was quite inclusive and included the first man to set foot on the moon, the mother of a murdered president, a physician who rid the world of polio, actors, politicians, athletes and other writers (like me). Of course most never responded, but some were very kind and did. Among them, Charles M. Schulz told me that success meant not having to dread getting up every morning. George Burns said that success meant being able to smoke as many cigars as he wanted without having to worry about how to pay for them and Lowell Thomas said the trick to a successful life was to marry the boss’s daughter. Hmm. Then there was Art Buchwald, who took the time it would have taken to give me what I wanted to write a snarky excuse for not giving me what I wanted. You can see the actual letter after the jump. Even then I thought it kind of harsh to use the opportunity to riff on a kid.
And now he’s dead.
Posted in Blather 01/18/07 | 
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Saying “I can’t help you” means success is yours alone to attain. Then he tells you that you must plan long term (20 years) for success and that you will be kept busy during that time attempting to achieve it.
I’d say he gave you your answer but not in the format you expected it in.
Comment by FaulknA — January 20, 2007 @ 1:03 am
Faulkna, I appreciate you trying to find the best take on what he did, but I can’t buy it. I know from borscht belt, and this was a guy who thought he had to make with the funny all the time. Alas.
Comment by Sprague Dawley — January 20, 2007 @ 10:24 am
Perception is everything. I didn’t know him as well as you do so I’ll have to agree.
Comment by FaulknA — January 20, 2007 @ 1:42 pm
Vonnegut?
Comment by Betty Black — January 22, 2007 @ 7:06 pm
Betty,
Not sure what you mean — was Buchwald making an allusion to Vonnegut? Don’t know.
Comment by Sprague Dawley — January 22, 2007 @ 9:56 pm
I couldn’t say whether he was alluding to Vonnegut or not; it’s just that I’ve read that somewhere before, and I’ve never read Buchwald. Perhaps Vonnegut alluded to Buchwald at some point, or someone else I have read.
Comment by Betty Black — January 23, 2007 @ 2:21 pm
Actually, that seems like a very Zen answer to me. At least he didn’t strike you with sticks or cut off a finger.
Comment by Rick — January 25, 2007 @ 8:08 pm
That letter was wonderful. Typical snarky Buchwald.
Comment by Stewart Sternberg — January 27, 2007 @ 7:50 pm