Merry Christmas to you and everyone else who has come by and posted such great comments. Thanks for the kind words — much appreciated.

I do moderate comments but have not had to filter out any on this topic — I’ve been able to post every one, not a bad apple in the bunch.

I, too, agree that the “‘mos” bring a special sensibility to the world, alas born of sensitivity to pain and our outsider status — it allows us to see things others may take for granted.

Re-reading all the comments, two thoughts:

1.) Everyone above should get some kind of an award for using “affect” and “effect” correctly!

2.) Naming “Crash” as best picture over BBM was most definitely an affront to decency. Again, congratulations to the writer above on finding the perfect words to describe it. I admit, I was not there in person, and I only saw it on TV, but Annie Proulx’s description of the moment when Crash was announced as best picture was perfect: There definitely was some relief in the audience’s reaction, which was troubling to say the least.

Marc Giles, Chicago, IL

It seems likes a lot of us are on the same wavelength–I realized that it was the one year anniversay of the movie’s release, so I watched the DVD last week for the first time since seeing it 5 times in the theater a year ago. Nothing about it has gotten old, and I experience some new reactions each time I see it.

You make an excellent point about the unforgivable (bravo–perfect word) shot of Alma during E & J’s reunion–it always drew a vocal reaction from the audience, and that always bothered me . . . you were able to discern why.

Not only is your piece remarkable, but the comments are wonderful to read as well. I don’t know if you edit these or not, but thankfully there are no hateful fag-bashing posts by Neanderthal troglodytes . . . yet. (See the iTunes comments section on the not-so-good recorded book of BBM for a typically disgusting sampling of those.)

I can’t add anything new to the excellent comments above (e.g. Joel H), but again – thank you so very much for this post, and thanks to all those who posted the thoughtful comments. At the risk of sounding too self-congratulatory, Camille Paglia is right–there is definitely something unique and wonderful about us ‘mos.

It’s deeply moving — heart-rending — to compare the fictional story here with the real stories of people whose lives were constricted and loves constrained because of the way the world has been. The changes that have been too long coming, and have yet to be fully fought over, over and over again.

But it’s also interesting to think of what might be the worst stories of all, though it may take a long time — and it may never happen — that we’ll be able to appreciate these stories, because of the immeasurable harm that the people involved brought to everyone else, as well as upon themselves. I’m talking of course about the Ted Haggards and the Paul Barneses; the Mark Foleys, David Driers, and Jay Timmonses; the people who have built lives out of their deceit and careers out of their self-loathing. As easy, and just, as it is to revile such people for the destruction they’ve wrought, we should also recognize that they must be in truly horrific shape themselves, with lives that can’t have been much more than constant misery and fear. (Of course, as they’d be the first to point out, they did make those choices, didn’t they?)

My thanks for writing this.